Posted: 13 Mar 2009 04:30 AM PDT
A middle-aged man returns home from a business trip a day early, concerned that his wife may be having an affair. He's riding in a taxi at about 2:00 in the morning back towards his house, when he explains his situation to the taxi driver.
It's after midnight. While en route home he asks the cabby if he would be a witness. Taxi
He explains to the cabbie that he suspects his wife is sleeping around on him, and offers the him $50 if he would be a witness to the affair, if he could catch her in bed with him. By the time they reach his house, the cabbie agrees.
They park a few doors down and, quietly, sneak into the front door and up the stairs. Then, with a burst of speed, the husband flicks on the bedroom lights and rips the blanket off the bed - and there his wife lays in bed with another man!
Out of his coat pocket, the visibly distraught husband pulls out a gun and puts it to the naked man's head. Just then, his wife yells "Don't do it! I lied when I told you I inherited all that money!…"
* HE paid for the Mercedes I gave you.
Shaking his head, unsure of whether to pull the trigger, he looks over at the taxi driver and asks "What should I do?"
The taxi driver replies, "I'd cover him with that blanket before he catches a cold."
Posted: 12 Mar 2009 11:23 AM PDT
Gemma Merna makes anything interesting (With Leather)
Britney Spears has a lovel bikini ass (Celebridi0t)
Nicole Scherzinger shows off some sexy skin (Celebrity Odor)
What was SI thinking about when the chose Cintia Dicker? (WWTDD)
Katy Perry looks a bit naughty for Esquire (NS4W)
Rebecca Tysnes does Norway proud - Damn Proud! (Holy Taco)
Amber Brkich gets her lingerie going for Max (Camel Tap)
EA Fight Night 4 looks awesome…wonder if Tyson will eat people? (Wii Hotties)
Gabby gets sexy for MySpace…and people like us (The Dirty)
You know you want to buy this Stacy Keibler worn bikini (Busted Coverage)
Forget Dear Abby these arethe real answere (9 to Fried)
Posted: 12 Mar 2009 06:10 AM PDT
Posted: 12 Mar 2009 05:45 AM PDT
Posted: 12 Mar 2009 05:45 AM PDT
Posted: 12 Mar 2009 05:30 AM PDT
Posted: 12 Mar 2009 05:00 AM PDT
Posted: 12 Mar 2009 04:45 AM PDT
Posted: 12 Mar 2009 04:30 AM PDT
A classroom full of first year Veterinary students were participating in their first day of anatomy class. For the lecture, the professor begins by unveiling a dead cow under a white sheet laying on an operating table.
The professor tells the class "In Veterinary Medicine, there are two qualities you must possess as a doctor - the first of which is a strong stomach. You cannot, under any circumstance, be disgusted by anything involving an animal's body."Cow
For example, the Professor pulls back the sheet and sticks his finger right up the dead cow's butt, pulls out his finger and sticks it in his mouth. The students just standthere, paralyzed at what they see. "Now, go ahead and do the same thing, each of you," the professor says.
Freaked out, the students take several minutes but eventually take turns sticking their fingers up into the anal cavity of the dead cow, and then sucking on them. Once everyone is finished, the Professor continues on with his lesson… "Now, the second important quality you must possess is a keen observation. You see, I stuck in my middle finger up the cow's butt, and I sucked on my index finger… Now, learn to pay attention."
The moral: Life's tough, but it's even tougher when you're stupid.
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