Posted: 30 Jan 2009 06:30 AM CST
Not like you need more reason to laugh this Friday, but we can all sure use as much laughter as we can get in these gloom and doom times. These comics that have been collected over sometime should bring at least a smile if not a laugh, unless you are made of stone.
Posted: 30 Jan 2009 06:00 AM CST
I wonder how many here are fans of the Simpsons series? If I’m not mistaken, they are the longest-running cartoon comedy series (or so I heard somewhere). Anyway, I think that they are pretty good and here are some of the best quotes from our beloved Homer.
1. Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.
2. Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to Home Simpsonget one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!
3. What's the point of going out? We're just going to wind up back here anyway.
4. I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman.
5. Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs.
6. Books are useless! I only ever read one book, "To Kill A Mockingbird," and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin… but what good does that do me?
7. I hope I didn't brain my damage.
8. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals… except the weasel.
9. Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
10. How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
11. Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.
12. Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!
13. How could you?! Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain Whatshisname? We live in a society of laws! Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn't hear anybody laughing, did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects. Makes sound effects and laughs. Where was I? Oh yeah! Stay out of my booze.
14. You don't like your job, you don't strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.
15. Oh, I'm in no condition to drive. Wait a minute. I don't have to listen to myself. I'm drunk.
Posted: 30 Jan 2009 05:50 AM CST
Don’t you just love seeing chicks in all types of tight and crazy costumes? Actually, don’t bother answering, just click on this.
Posted: 30 Jan 2009 05:30 AM CST
SEXY NAUGHTY BARBIE GIRL DANCE
Posted: 30 Jan 2009 05:20 AM CST
Look at the size of her guns, you wouldn’t want to mess with her… or would you?
Posted: 30 Jan 2009 05:00 AM CST
A husband and wife decided they needed to use “code” to indicate that they wanted to have sex without letting their children in on it. They decided on the word Typewriter.
One day the husband told his five year old daughter, “Go tell your mommy that daddy needs to type a letter.”
The child told her mother what her dad said, and her mom responded, “Tell your daddy that he can't type a letter right now because there is a red ribbon in the typewriter.” The child went back to tell her father what mommy said.
A few days later the mom told the daughter, “Tell daddy that he can type that letter now.”
The child told her father, returned to her mother and announced, “Daddy said never mind with the typewriter, he already wrote the letter by hand.”
Posted: 30 Jan 2009 07:13 AM CST
Paris Hilton’s nipples tell you the weather (Celebridiot)
Random Retro Baseball Player: Pascual Perez (Sharapova’s Thigh)
Joe Torre’s tell-all book is already becoming a movie (Cuzoogle)
Can you find Waldo at Obama’s inauguration? (Brahsome)
MySpace Toolbox: Taking Steroids by Nick (Uncoached)
Get Fired Up: Flashback to Jock Jams Volume 1 (Ice Ice Babies)
Win Stuff with “The Beast” (Gunaxin)
Desperate and dateless rejoice! Your virtual 3D girlfriend is here (The Bachelor Guy)
Church has never been so much fun (Afrojacks)
Natasha Marley: Another Big Breast Brit Babe (MoonDog Sports)
Velcroed thongs and TV theme songs. It must be Dear Illuminati. (9 to Fried)
Lela Star Wants To Ride You Like A Bronco (The Beer Goggler)
Alessandra Ambrosio esta bonita in a bikini (Observation Bubble)
Megan Fox playing Guitar Hero is sexy (Wii Hotties)
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