Posted: 29 Sep 2008 07:30 AM CDT
Posted: 29 Sep 2008 07:27 AM CDT
Posted: 29 Sep 2008 07:24 AM CDT
Posted: 29 Sep 2008 07:21 AM CDT
Tips on when it’s safe to go all in and when it’s best to fold. By Lena Katz.
Love is a many-splendored thing. A song your heart sings. And, rosy Hallmark-card clichés aside, it’s a total gamble.
You don’t ever know how it’s going to turn out: You could win your heart’s desire, or wind up broke, alone and kicking yourself for playing in the first place.
If love is a gamble, then it follows that dating is a game. It requires lots of skills, it has a million nuances and the stakes can get sky-high. You play with your head as well as your heart. Come to think of it, it’s a lot like high-stakes poker. And many of the rules of poker can apply.
With input from a couple of female poker pros, we’ve compiled some ground rules to keep in mind when you’re across the table from the next potential Ms. Right.
Get in the Game at the Right Time
If you’ve just busted out of a big tournament, you don’t want to immediately jump into another big-money game.
“Your mindset isn’t right, and there’s a bad, negative aura,” explains Lynette Chan of Team Full Tilt. Poker players call this negative mindset being “on tilt,” and they know it’s one of the quickest ways to dig yourself an even bigger hole.
How this translates: Say you just had a nasty breakup. You’re at an emotional low, you’re tired and you’re vulnerable. It’s not a good time to jump into a new relationship. And though you think a casual fling might boost your self-esteem, it usually has the opposite effect.
But what about the flipside?
“If you’re coming off a big win, you need time to collect yourself and your thoughts, so you don’t get too aggressive and start to think you’re God,” says Vanessa Rousso, 22-year-old PokerStars pro.
Likewise, if you just got promoted to your dream job, or you’re getting ready to go on that once-in-a-lifetime vacation around the world, now might not be the best time to get into a relationship. How can you focus on anyone else when you’re so completely wrapped up in your own awesomeness?
Remember, potential relationships — just like poker games — are everywhere, every day.
“The casino’s open 24/7 — there’s always a game going,” says Chan. “I like to wait till I’m in my comfort zone.”
When dating, you don’t always need to be in on the action. Wait for the right situation, focus 100 percent on the table in front of you, and bring all your intuition, clear vision and common sense into the game.
Pick the Right Game
In poker, it’s very important to play for stakes you can afford and to pick a game that you’re good at, likewise with relationships. Study the situation, and be honest with yourself about whether you’re going to be able to handle it.
Imagine this scenario: You’re really, really into someone. But she says, “Sorry, I only see you as a friend.” You cringe on the inside; but then you say, “Cool, that’s how I see you too.” You’re hoping you can change her mind.
Maybe you can. Maybe you can’t. Can you afford to find out?
“If you pick a limit that’s too high for you, you might get lucky and be able to stay in that game,” says Chan. “But if you run average, you won’t be able to handle the swing — the ups and downs of the game. So if you feel like gambling, go ahead. If you win, great. If you lose, you’ll lose your whole bankroll.”
What if you’re on the other side? You’re not ready to get married, but you’re really hot for someone. You’re betting you can get what you want from the relationship, but still keep things light — and keep the other person at arm’s length.
Are you ready for her to show up at your doorstep crying at midnight — when you’re all snuggled up in bed with your other casual fling?
If you’re used to playing Limit Hold ‘Em and you get in a No Limit game, you’re at a disadvantage, even when the stakes are low. And, adds Chan, you probably won’t get the returns you want.
In love, it’s better all around if everyone picks the right game for themselves. Maybe you want to keep it light and fun and not risk losing a lot. Maybe you’re ready to play no limit, and put everything at stake. Whatever it is, choose your field wisely, and make sure it’s the one most likely to provide a winning outcome.
Reading the Tells
Tells are super-important in poker; they’re the outward signs that someone is bluffing. Since everyone has different tells, it’s tough to read them right.
“I’ve seen people miss a sentence when they see the flop, because it really interests them,” says Chan. “Or they get really talkative when they have a big hand. Or they chew their gum really fast.
“But just because they’re doing that doesn’t mean it’s a tell. You have to get to know the player.”
Tells are also important in a relationship, because no matter what psychologists advocate, nobody is ever 100 percent straightforward in their communication all the time. Body language, facial expressions and even speech patterns can help you figure out what’s really going on.
“There are always signs to read, but they’re not always applicable to what you think they would be,” says Chan. “Pay attention, till you can say this person always does this in a certain situation.” Above all, she advises, “Go with your gut.”
Don’t Go All in Until You Have the Nuts
This one comes to us from Rousso, who elaborates: “In poker, you don’t commit all your chips to a hand unless you’re sure you have a winner. A mistake that beginners make is they see two cards that on the surface look good and they don’t wait to see how they ‘connect’ with the board.”
Say you meet someone, you’re hot for them and the first date is amazing. Based on that, you might assume that everything’s going to play out perfectly. But if you’re smart, you don’t immediately throw your heart, soul and car keys into the pot.
When you see poker on TV, it seems like people are screaming, “I’m all in!” every second. And in the movies, people fall in love at first sight and live happily ever after. But that’s all just fantasy and tricky screenwriting.
In real life, you play smart, you wait to see what cards are dealt and you only go all in once you’re dealt a winner.
Posted: 29 Sep 2008 07:18 AM CDT
Posted: 29 Sep 2008 07:15 AM CDT
Flexd Extra Tearproof Dog Leashes
Timmie’s Dog Spa - “Your dog needs to relax. Send them to …”
“Should I sniff her butt? Will she mind if I sniff her butt? What will it say about me if I sniff his butt? Maybe I'm gay? Should I question sniffing butts so much? Do other dogs sniff as many butts as I do? How many butts have I sniffed this week? I'm guessing it's a lot if I'm questioning it so much. I love sniffing butts. I need to sniff one right now. There aren't any around. I have to get a hold of myself. Who am I kidding? I need a butt and I need it now. Now. Good god. Am I living a life that's guided by butt sniffing? I am. My parent's warned me. I didn't listen. Like a cheap tramp. A whore. I'm a butt-sniffing whore. What if I tried to cut down? Nothing heavy. Just a few sniffs a day. I can do that. I know I can. I've done it before. But do I really want to? I mean, that's what we do. We sniff butts. No one looks down on me for it. There was that guy who gave me a look while I was in mid-sniff. Who is he to judge me for sniffing a butt? Maybe I'm just being paranoid. I get like that when I haven't sniffed a butt. I'll stop cold turkey. But not now. The fever's too strong. A wiff will get me through the night. Just one, heartfelt inhale of the poodle across the street and I'll be satisfied. I love how she resists at first and then sticks it out with reckless abandon. What a slut. Wait. Why is she a slut? I'm the one going in there. That coy little look she gives me when she walks down the street. Oh, I'm sniffing that butt. Count on it.”
Pedigree Biscuit - “Sit”
Timmie’s Dog Spa - “Your dog needs to relax. Send them to …”
“Oh god. I just spent three quarters of my day licking myself. I just sit here, with a bowl of water, some toys and my urges – lonely one minute and satisfied the next. Such a wicked paradox. I need to get out. I need to meet people. But I'm happy this way. It feels good. So good. But my crotch shouldn't define me. Was it the way I was raised? Did my dad bury his face in his crotch for hours on end? Not dad. I never smelt it on his breath. Well maybe once, but I can't be sure that was crotch. The guy ate garbage like it was going out of style. But really, some pages are better left unturned. Am I the only one? I doubt it. That Rottweiler probably treats his nether regions like a buffet. Look at me. I'm justifying my lack of discipline by making up stories about other dogs I don't even know. I need a drink. Then I need to lick my crotch. More like want. Is that selfish? Self-pleasuring myself for half a day? Screw it. I'm going in. If my owner could do it, he would. So it's perfectly natural. Isn't it? I need a distraction. That ball looks okay. Oh crap. I need something new. Something that doesn't involve my crotch. It's all I've got. My walker's cool, but I can't lick his crotch. It's gonna take everything I've got to make it through the night. Just one night.
Pedigree - “For Strong Dogs”
SPCA Pet Adoption Service (Thailand)
Toronto Humane Society - Pet Adoption
Timmie’s Pet Outfitters
Rutan Cat Food - “Irresistible”
Flatazor Senior Frisbee - “For your old buddy”
Posted: 29 Sep 2008 07:12 AM CDT
BATTLE OF THE SEXES - Guys and girls locked in an epic battle everyday of the week until Sunday. Great commercial!
Posted: 29 Sep 2008 07:09 AM CDT
Posted: 29 Sep 2008 07:06 AM CDT
Posted: 29 Sep 2008 07:03 AM CDT
A British doctor, a German doctor and an American doctor were chatting.
The British doctor said, "Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man put it in another and have him looking for work in six weeks."
Then the German doctor bragged, "That's nothing, we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another and have him looking for work in four weeks."
The American doctor, not to be outdone, says, "You guys are way behind. We took a man with no brain out of Texas, put him in the White House, and almost immediately afterwards half the country was looking for work."
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