Posted: 04 Sep 2008 07:30 AM CDT
Posted: 04 Sep 2008 07:27 AM CDT
Posted: 04 Sep 2008 07:24 AM CDT
Posted: 04 Sep 2008 07:21 AM CDT
Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?
Why is it that, no matter what color of bubble bath you use, the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day when mattresses are NOT on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with the hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
On electric toasters, why do they engrave the message ‘one slice’? How many pieces of bread do they think people are really gonna try to stuff in that slot?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give their vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic garbage bag will open from the end you first try?
How do those dead bugs get into closed light fixtures?
Why do we wash BATH towels? Aren’t we clean when we use them? If not then what was the purpose of the bath?
Considering all the lint you get in your dryer, if you kept drying your clothes would they eventually just disappear?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say ‘Its all right’? It isn’t all right, so why don’t we say, ‘That hurt, you stupid idiot’?
Why is it that when you’re walking up the stairs and you get to the top you always think there’s still one more step?
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that’s falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
Is it true that the only difference between a yard sale and a trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed?
In winter, why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
Why do women always ask questions that have no right answers?
Why do old men wear their pants higher than younger men?
Why is it that inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the heck happened?
If diamonds are a girl’s best friend and a dog is man’s best friend, who really is the dumber sex?
Why are the needy only thought of during the holidays? Aren’t they just as needy throughout the rest of the year?
Why is it that men can react to broken bones as ‘just a sprain’ and deep wounds as ‘just a scratch’, but when they get the sniffles they are deathly ill ‘with the flu’ and have to be bedridden for weeks?
How come we never hear any father-in-law jokes?
Why do men forget everything and women remember everything?
Do Chinese people get hungry an hour after they eat American food?
Shouldn’t all married men forget their mistakes? After all there’s no sense in two people remembering the same things right?
Is the real reason women live longer then men because they don’t have to live with women?
Posted: 04 Sep 2008 07:18 AM CDT
Posted: 04 Sep 2008 07:12 AM CDT
Posted: 04 Sep 2008 07:10 AM CDT
CONTENTMENT - So you think you had it bad? Great inspirational video and a good reminder for all of us to wake up and realize just how blessed most of us actually are.
NIGHTMARE IN THE PHOTO BOOTH - Funny pranks played by a photo booth on its victims.
IRRESISTIBLE CALLING PLAN - So good that you will want to pick up your call even when hiding.
Posted: 04 Sep 2008 07:06 AM CDT
Posted: 04 Sep 2008 07:06 AM CDT
Posted: 04 Sep 2008 07:02 AM CDT
A mother and son were walking through a cemetery, and passed by a headstone inscribed “Here lies a good lawyer and an honest man.” The little boy read the headstone, looked up at his mother, and asked “Mommy, why did they bury two men there?”
A woman went to her doctor for advice. She told him that her husband had developed a penchant for anal sex, and she was not sure that it was such a good idea. The doctor asked, “Do you enjoy it?” She said that she did. He asked, “Does it hurt you?” She said that it didn’t. The doctor then told her, “Well, then, there’s no reason that you shouldn’t practice anal sex, if that’s what you like, so long as you take care not to get pregnant.” The woman was mystified. She asked “You can get
An attorney was sitting in his office late one night, when Satan appeared before him. The Devil told the lawyer, “I have a proposition for you. You can win every case you try, for the rest of your life. Your clients will adore you, your colleagues will stand in awe of you, and you will make embarrassing sums of money. All I want in exchange is your soul, your wife’s soul, your children’s souls, the souls of your parents, grandparents, and parents-in-law, and the souls of all your
A young woman wrote to an agony aunt: I have a dilemma. I am about to get married, but I haven’t been totally honest with my fiance. My mother is a well-known madam, my father is a convict, and my brother is a lawyer. My sister sells heroin to the children at the school down the
A man asked a lawyer his fee, and was told it was ú50.00 for three questions. “Isn’t that awfully steep?” he asked. “Yes,” the lawyer replied, “and what was your third question?”
Did you hear about the lawyer who stepped in cow dung, and thought he was melting?
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