Posted: 19 Aug 2008 07:20 AM CDT
Posted: 19 Aug 2008 07:18 AM CDT
Posted: 19 Aug 2008 07:17 AM CDT
Thank you for the overwhelming response to our first ever Funtasticus contest! Before we reveal the final winner, here are some of the close runner-ups that we liked (sorry, no prizes, but good to know you were almost there right?):
- "…it's gonna take more than a bunch of hammers to fix that crack."
- i wish i could make my butt eat my shorts like that.
- Bill's first day on the job proved to be challenging as he was given the task of how to remove the thong without the right tools.
And now, for the winner, it is the entry submitted by …… Ender! Chosen because of creativity, wit, relevance and humor and one that manages to capture all 3 people in the picture. We were also impressed with the uniqueness of the caption that is not quite the same as all the other entries. So congratulations to Ender!
Arranging for a "surprise" piercing is what ended our relationship.
Congratulations to Ender, please comment on this post with your email but it must be written from the same IP as your submission, so we can be sure it is you. We will be in touch!
Posted: 19 Aug 2008 07:16 AM CDT
This is no hoax and is reported by Reuters. The mayor of a village in southwest France has threatened residents with severe punishment if they decide to die! Why? Because there is no room left in the cemetery of course!
In a policy posted in the council offices, Mayor Gerard Lalanne warned the 260 residents of the village of Sarpourenx that “all persons not having a plot in the cemetery and wishing to be buried in Sarpourenx are forbidden from dying in the parish.”
It added: “Offenders will be severely punished.”
The mayor said he was forced to take such drastic action after an administrative court in the nearby town of Pau ruled in January that the acquisition of adjoining private land to extend the cemetery would not be justified.
Lalanne, who celebrated his 70th birthday on Wednesday and is standing for election to a seventh term in this month’s local elections, said he was sorry that there had not been a positive outcome to the dilemma.
“It may be a laughing matter for some, but not for me,” he said. I don’t even know what I should say about this report. Perhaps I will think of something when I stop laughing…
Posted: 19 Aug 2008 07:14 AM CDT
Posted: 19 Aug 2008 07:12 AM CDT
Posted: 19 Aug 2008 07:10 AM CDT
Posted: 19 Aug 2008 07:08 AM CDT
Posted: 19 Aug 2008 07:06 AM CDT
Posted: 19 Aug 2008 07:04 AM CDT
An old but still ruggedly handsome Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college.
There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.
“Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?”
“Negative, ma’am. Just serious by nature.”
The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, “It looks like you have seen a lot of action.”
“Yes, ma’am, a lot of action.”
The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, “You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself.”
The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner. Finally, the young lady said, “You know, I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?”
“Well, there you are. You really need to chill out and quit taking everything so seriously!? I mean, no sex since 1955!?”
Feeling charitable and a little bit drunk, she took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to “relax” him several times.
Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, “Wow, you sure didn’t forget much since 1955!”
The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his matter-of-fact voice, “I hope not, it’s only 2130 now.”
(You’ve got to love military time!)
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