Posted: 15 Aug 2008 07:20 AM CDT
Posted: 15 Aug 2008 07:18 AM CDT
Posted: 15 Aug 2008 07:14 AM CDT
Posted: 15 Aug 2008 07:14 AM CDT
Most of you must have read some of these at one point or another or even tried using them. No harm for a nice refresher this Friday to get you all set for the weekend right?
1. Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plant you right here!
2. Roses are red, violets are blue, I like spaghetti, let’s go screw
3. Just call me milk, I’ll do your body good
4. Your body’s name must be visa, because it’s everywhere I want to be
5. Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?
6. I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your Bed Rock
7. I may not be the best looking guy here, but I’m the only one talking to you
8. My love for you is like the energizer bunny, it keeps going and going
9. That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I’d be coming too
10. Yo Baby, you be my Dairy Queen, I’ll be your Burger King, you treat me right, and I’ll do it your way right away
11. I’d like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it
12. I enjoy doing maintenance, you look like someone I would like to “tinker” around with
13. You must be from Pearl Harbor, cause baby you’re the Bomb
14. If you were a new hamburger at McDonald’s, you would be McGorgeous
15. Is that Windex? Because I can see myself in your pants.
16. I’m a bird watcher and I’m looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher, have you seen one?
17. Wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Walmart, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter
18. Wanna Play House? You be the screen door and I’ll slam you all night long
19. If you’re going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon
20. Oh, I’m sorry, I thought that was a braille name tag
21. If you were a car, I’d wax you and ride you all over town
22. Guy: “Would you like to dance?”
Girl: “I don’t care for this song and surely wouldn’t dance with you”
Guy: “I’m sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants”
23. Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I’ve seem to have lost mine
24. I look good on you
25. I’m new in town, could I have directions to your house
26. If your left leg was Thanksgiving and your right leg Christmas, can I visit you between the Holidays?
27. You look like a girl that has heard every line in the book, so what’s one more going to hurt?
28. F** me if I’m wrong, but is your name Yolanda?
29. I love every bone in your body - especially mine
30. Excuse me, do you wanna fuck, or should I apologize?
31. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away
32. Do you want to dance, No? Well I guess a fuck is out of the question
33. Hi, I’m a necrophiliac, how good are you at playing dead?
34. I lost my bed, can I borrow yours?
35. You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy
36. My recipe for love is one cup of you, one cup of me, knead till hard, and serve hot
37. Are your legs tired, because you’ve been running through my mind all day long
38. You be the tree, and I’ll wrap you like a Koala
39. Hey baby, I’m like American Express, you don’t want to leave home without me
40. Do you have a quarter? My mother told me to call home when I met the girl of my dreams
41. The word for the night is legs, lets go back to my room and spread the word
42. Hey baby, what’s your sign? Caution, slippery when wet, dangerous curves ahead, or yield?
43. Hi my name is _______, remember it, cause you’ll be screaming it all night long
44. I can’t find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room
45. Was your dad a farmer? Cause you sure have great melons
46. Want to play conductor?? You be the engineer and I’ll go…. Choo choo
47. You must be Jelly, cause jam don’t shake like that.
48. The fact that I’m missing my teeth just means that there’s more room for your tongue
49. Guy: “Haven’t I seen you someplace before?”
Girl: “Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymore”
50. Hi, my name is Skippy, like the peanut butter I stick to the roof of your mouth
51. Hi, my name is Pogo, want to jump on my stick?
Posted: 15 Aug 2008 07:12 AM CDT
Posted: 15 Aug 2008 07:10 AM CDT
Posted: 15 Aug 2008 07:06 AM CDT
Posted: 15 Aug 2008 07:04 AM CDT
A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.
Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.
The woman’s husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.
The little boy says, ‘Dark in here.’
Boy: ‘Dark in here.’
A few! days later, the Dad says to the boy, ‘Grab your glove, let’s go outside and have a game of catch.’
The boy says, ‘I can’t, I sold my baseball and my glove.’
The Dad asks, ‘How much did you sell them for?’
The Dad says, ‘That’s terrible to over charge your friends like that…that is way more than those two things cost. I’m taking you to church, to confession.’
They go to the church and the Dad makes the little boy sit in the confessional booth and closes the door.
The boy says, ‘Dark in here.’
Posted: 15 Aug 2008 07:02 AM CDT
Every year on the last Wednesday of August, thousands of people gather in Bunol, Spain to make each other run and juicy by throwing tons of tomatoes at each other. Apparently people will just rush up to you and tear off your shirt (if you are wearing any), ladies no exception. I know the guys are seating up to read now. The whole festival takes about one hour and all the slimy, wet and red people will then
My question is, do tomatoes actually burst when you throw them at someone??
Posted: 15 Aug 2008 07:00 AM CDT
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