Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Funtasticus.com

Funtasticus.com

Link to Funtasticus.com Humor & Fun Blog

Faces of Pleasure

Posted: 30 Dec 2008 06:30 AM CST

How some people look when they are getting to the point of no return. Don’t laugh, you may look as hilarious or dorky or even worse than some of them.

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Random Car Wash Girls

Posted: 30 Dec 2008 06:20 AM CST

We cannot get enough of these scantily-dressed chicks getting wet beside a car. They are supposed to be washing the car of course, but I seriously doubt that the car gets any cleaner at the end of the day. But who’s complaining?

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And finally…

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Sorry, couldn’t resist it.

Daily Cool Pictures

Posted: 30 Dec 2008 06:10 AM CST

“Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.”

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If I Become an Evil Overlord

Posted: 30 Dec 2008 06:00 AM CST

1. My legions of terror will have helmets with clear Plexiglas visors, not face-concealing ones.

2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.

4. Shooting is NOT too good for my enemies.

5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box.

6. I will not gloat over my enemies’ predicament before killing them.

7. When the rebel leader challenges me to fight one-on-one and asks, “Or are you afraid without your armies to back you up?” My reply will be, “No, just sensible.”

8. When I’ve captured my adversary and he says, “Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?” I’ll shoot him, and then say “No”.

9. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.

10. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labeled “Danger: Do Not Push”.

11. I will not order my trusted lieutenant to kill the infant who is destined to overthrow me — I’ll do it myself.

12. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum — a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.

13. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.

14. I will not waste time making my enemy’s death look like an accident: I’m not accountable to anyone and my other enemies wouldn’t believe it.

15. I will make it clear that I DO know the meaning of the word “mercy”; I simply choose not show them any.

16. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.

17. All slain enemies will be cremated, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. Announcements of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.

18. My undercover agents will not have tattoos identifying them as members of my organization, nor will they be required to wear military boots or adhere to any other dress codes.

19. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.

20. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.

21. I will design all doomsday machines myself. If I must hire a mad scientist to assist me, I will make sure that he is sufficiently twisted never to regret his evil ways and seek to undo the damage he’s caused.

22. I will never utter the sentence “But before I kill you, there’s just one thing I want to know.”

23. When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.

Lingerie Advertising

Posted: 30 Dec 2008 05:50 AM CST

A series of photos for a lingerie advertising campaign.

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When Dad is Left With the Kids

Posted: 30 Dec 2008 05:40 AM CST

It is one of those weekends when Mom is out of town taking care of her parents or for a conference and Dad assures her that he can manage the kids alone.

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Daily Funny Videos

Posted: 30 Dec 2008 05:30 AM CST

COMEDIAN ON MAN & WOMAN’S BRAINS - This is the comedian Mark Gungor on the differences between man & woman’s brains. Very accurate indeed!



NAUGHTY ON THE PHOTOCOPIER - Lady decides to have some fun with the photocopier but doesn’t realize that another guy already had his own version of ‘fun’ before her.



PAINFUL TIGHT ROPE - Bet he didn’t realize the tight rope could hurt him like that.

Danielle Lloyd Sexy Christmas Costume

Posted: 30 Dec 2008 05:20 AM CST

This should be our last Christmas themed post but I think you guys should like it. The very hot and sexy Danielle in sexy Christmas outfit. I love Christmas!

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Russia’s Presidential Aircraft

Posted: 30 Dec 2008 05:10 AM CST

Take an inside tour of Russia’s current President, Dimitry Anatolyevich Medvedev’s aircraft as he travels around the world. Lots and lots of gold.

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Getting to Heaven Faster

Posted: 30 Dec 2008 05:00 AM CST

The couple were 85 years old and had been married for sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies.

Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade. One day, their good health didn't help when they went on a rare vacation and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven.

They reached the pearly gates, and St.. Peter escorted them inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath. A maid could be seen hanging their favourite clothes in the closet.
They gasped in astonishment when he said, 'Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now.'

The old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. 'Why, nothing,' Peter replied, 'remember, this is your reward in Heaven.'
The old man looked out the window and right there he saw a championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever built on Earth..'What are the greens fees?,' grumbled the old man.
'This is heaven,' St. Peter replied. 'You can play for free, every day.'

Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to steaks to exotic deserts, free flowing beverages.
'Don't even ask,' said St. Peter to the man. This is Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy.'
The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his wife. 'Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods and the decaffeinated tea?,' he asked. That's the best part,' St. Peter replied. 'You can eat and drink as much as you like of whatever you like and you will never get fat or sick.
This is Heaven!'

The old man pushed, 'No gym to work out at?'

'Not unless you want to,' was the answer.
'No testing my sugar or blood pressure or…'
'Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself.'

The old man glared at his wife and said, 'You and your fucking Bran Flakes. We could have been here ten years ago!'

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