Posted: 14 Oct 2008 07:30 AM CDT
Posted: 14 Oct 2008 07:21 AM CDT
Apparently published in the Massachusetts Bar Association Lawyers Journal, the following are statements and questions made by real lawyers during their trials. No wonder lawyers have such bad rep!
1. “Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?”
2. “The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?”
3. “Were you present when your picture was taken?”
4. “Were you alone or by yourself?”
5. “Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?”
6. “Did he kill you?”
7. “How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?”
8. “You were there until the time you left, is that true?”
9. “How many times have you committed suicide?”
10. Q: “So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?”
11. Q: “She had three children, right?”
12. Q: “You say the stairs went down to the basement?”
13. Q: “Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn’t you?
14. Q: “How was your first marriage terminated?”
15. Q: “Can you describe the individual?”
16. Q: “Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition
17. Q: “Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?”
18. Q: “All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?”
19. Q: “Do you recall the time that you examined the body?”
20. Q: “You were not shot in the fracas?”
21. Q: “Are you qualified to give a urine sample?”
22. Q: “Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?”
Posted: 14 Oct 2008 07:18 AM CDT
Posted: 14 Oct 2008 07:15 AM CDT
Posted: 14 Oct 2008 07:12 AM CDT
Posted: 14 Oct 2008 07:09 AM CDT
Posted: 14 Oct 2008 07:06 AM CDT
Posted: 14 Oct 2008 07:03 AM CDT
The priest in a small Irish village was very fond of the chickens he kept in the hen house out the back of the parish rectory. He had a cock rooster and about ten hens.
One Saturday night the cock rooster was missing and the priest suspected that was the time the cock fights occurred in the village. So he decided to do something about it at church the next morning.
At Mass, he asked the congregation, “Has anybody got a cock?”
All the men stood up.
“No, No,” he said, “that wasn’t what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?”
All the women stood up.
“No, No,” he said, “that wasn’t what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock that doesn’t belong to them?”
Half the women stood up.
“No, No,” he said, “that wasn’t what I meant. Has anybody seen my cock?”
All the alter boys stood up.
Posted: 13 Oct 2008 07:27 AM CDT
|You are subscribed to email updates from Funtasticus.com Humor & Fun Blog |
To stop receiving these emails, you may unsubscribe now.
|Email Delivery powered by FeedBurner|
|Inbox too full? Subscribe to the feed version of Funtasticus.com Humor & Fun Blog in a feed reader.|
|If you prefer to unsubscribe via postal mail, write to: Funtasticus.com Humor & Fun Blog, c/o FeedBurner, 20 W Kinzie, 9th Floor, Chicago IL USA 60610|