Posted: 13 Oct 2008 07:30 AM CDT
Posted: 13 Oct 2008 07:21 AM CDT
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened. ~Cora Harvey Armstrong~
The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy. ~Helen Hayes (at 73)~
I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows. ~Janette Barber~
Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse. ~Lily Tomlin~
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car. ~Carrie Snow~
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends. ~Laurie Kuslansky~
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being, hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. ~Erma Bombeck~
Old age ain’t no place for sissies. ~Bette Davis~
A man’s got to do what a man’s got to do. A woman must do what he can’t. ~Rhonda Hansome~
The phrase “working mother” is redundant. ~Jane Sellman~
Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows. ~Jennifer Unlimited~
Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. ~Charlotte Whitton~
Thirty~five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart. ~Caryn Leschen~
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once. ~Jennifer Unlimited~
If you can’t be a good example, then you’ll just have to be a horrible warning. ~Catherine~
When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years before they realized I actually had a hearing loss. And they called ME slow! ~Kathy Buckley~
I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb .. and I’m also not blonde. ~Dolly Parton~
If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them. ~Sue Grafton~
I’m not going to vacuum ’til Sears makes one you can ride on. ~Roseanne Barr~
When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. ~Elayne Boosler~
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. ~Maryon Pearson~
In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man~ if you want anything done, ask a woman. ~Margaret Thatcher~
I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career… ~Gloria Steinem~
I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. ~Zsa Zsa Gabor~
Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission. ~Eleanor Roosevelt~
Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut the b*tch up with cookies. ~unknown~
Posted: 13 Oct 2008 07:18 AM CDT
Posted: 13 Oct 2008 07:15 AM CDT
Posted: 13 Oct 2008 07:12 AM CDT
WISH YOU HAD A BIGGER ONE? - Funny ad where a guy holds his big ‘package’ and catches the attention of a sexy chick on the train. But another guy was not that fortunate.
Posted: 13 Oct 2008 07:09 AM CDT
This blond bombshell is an American model that has appeared on the covers of Sports Illustrated and Victoria’s Secret catalogs more than most other models. She was born on 6 August 1978 and was discovered at age 16. She entered modeling under the counsel of her mom who told her, “You can always go back to school, but you can’t always model.” Guess she didn’t really need to worry about going back to school now. She is currently the ambassador for the American Cancer Society and the proceeds from her online stores are donated there, which is pretty cool for such a successful model. She definitely has my thumbs up both in beauty and character!
Posted: 13 Oct 2008 07:06 AM CDT
Posted: 13 Oct 2008 07:03 AM CDT
A new young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to help the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand. He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript.
So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up. In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.
The head monk, says, “We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son.”
So, he goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscript is held as archives in a locked vault that hasn’t been opened for hundreds of years.
Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot. So, the young monk gets worried and goes downstairs to look for him.
He sees him banging his head against the wall, and wailing “We forgot the “R”, We forgot the “R” His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably.
The young monk asks the old abbot, “What’s wrong, father?”
With a choking voice, the old abbot replies, “The word should be celebRate!!”
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