Thursday, January 29, 2009

Funtasticus.com

Funtasticus.com

Link to Funtasticus.com Humor & Fun Blog

Silent Reflections

Posted: 29 Jan 2009 06:30 AM CST

Some really nice photos that have double the goodness.

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Funny Medical Stuff

Posted: 29 Jan 2009 06:00 AM CST

Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg
One day I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a 'massive internal fart.'

Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI
I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning and while checking up on a woman I asked, 'So how's your breakfast this morning?' It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste,' the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled 'KY Jelly.'

Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA
During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble withone of his medications. 'Which one?' I asked.'The patch. The Nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!' I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying anew one.

Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Francisco
A man comes into the ER and yells, 'My wife's going to have her babyin the cab!' I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs, and I was in the wrong one.

Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis, OR
While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, 'How long have you been bedridden?' After a look of complete confusion she answered, 'Why, not for about twenty years, when my husband was alive.'

Submitted By An RN (No Name)

A nurse was on duty in the emergency room when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker mohawk, sporting a variety oftattoos and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery.When she was completely nude they noticed her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read, 'Keep off the grass.' Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said, 'Sorry, had to mow the lawn.'

Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA
At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly andslightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. 'Big breaths,' I Instructed. 'Yes, they used to be,' replied the patient.

Dr. Wouldn't Submit His Name
As a new, young MD doing his residency, I was quite embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams. To cover my embarrassment, I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassed me. I looked up from my work and sheepishly said, 'I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?' She replied, 'No, Doctor, but the song you were whistling was, 'I wish I were an Oscar Mayer Weiner".

Hand Figures

Posted: 29 Jan 2009 05:40 AM CST

Really nice and funny figurines painted out of the hands.

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Daily Funny Videos

Posted: 29 Jan 2009 05:30 AM CST

BOSS ALARM
See what happens to a company bar when the boss approaches.





LIFE SUCKS
Guy works hard at giving his sperm at a sperm bank. But he doesn’t know what goes on behind the closed door!






MAKING MUSIC WITH TIC TACS

Quite impressive if this is true.

Animal Interest

Posted: 29 Jan 2009 05:10 AM CST

Series of snapshots involving animals in various interesting and funny poses. Don’t overdose on cuteness now.

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Strange State Laws (Part 2)

Posted: 29 Jan 2009 05:00 AM CST

Montana

* It is a felony for a wife to open her husband's mail.
* It is a misdemeanor to show movies that depict acts of felonious crime.
* In Whitehall, it is illegal to operate a vehicle with ice picks attached to the wheels.

Nebraska

* It is illegal for a mother to give her daughter a perm without a state license.
* In Waterloo, barbers are forbidden from eating onions between 7am and 7pm.
* In Omaha, barbers are forbidden from shaving their customers' chests.
* If a child burps during a church service in Omaha, his or her parents may be arrested.
* It is illegal for bar owners to sell beer unless they are simultaneously brewing a kettle of soup.

Nevada

* In Nyala, a man is forbidden from buying drinks for more than three people other than himself at any one period during the day.
* It is illegal to drive a camel on the highway.
* In Eureka, men who wear moustaches are forbidden from kissing women.
* Everyone walking on the streets of Elko is required to wear a mask.

New Hampshire

* It is illegal to sell the clothes one is wearing to pay off a gambling debt.
* It is illegal to check into a hotel under an assumed name.

New Jersey

* It is against the law to "frown" at a police officer.
* In Newark, it is illegal to sell ice cream after 6pm, unless the customer has a note from his doctor.
* It is illegal to slurp soup.
* In Trenton, it is illegal to throw a bad pickle in the street.

New Mexico

* In Raton, it is illegal for a woman to ride horseback down a public street with a kimono on.
* The Merriam-Webster Collegiate Dictionary is banned in Carlsbad.
* State officials ordered 400 words of "sexually explicit material" to be cut from Romeo and Juliet.

New York

* In New York City, it is illegal for a woman to be on the street wearing "body hugging clothing".
* In New York City, it is illegal for a man to turn around and look "at a woman in that way," and violators are forced to wear horse blinders.
* In Staten Island, it is illegal for a father to call his son a "faggot" or "queer" in an effort to curb "girlie behavior."
* In New York City, "It is disorderly conduct for one man to greet another on the street by placing the end of his thumb against the tip of his nose, at the same time extending and wiggling the fingers of his hand."

North Carolina

* In Charlotte, women must have their bodies covered by at least 16 yards of cloth at all times.
* In Ashville, it is illegal to sneeze on city streets.
* Ironically, Hornytown has banned all massage parlors.
* State law mandates that all couples staying in rooms for one night must be kept in room with double beds, kept a minimum of two feet apart, and making love on the floor between the beds is strictly forbidden.
* It is illegal to have sex in a churchyard.

North Dakota

* In Fargo, one may be jailed for wearing a hat while dancing, or even for wearing a hat to a function where dancing is taking place.
* It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.
* It is illegal to serve beer and pretzels at the same time in any bar, club, or restaurant.

Ohio

* In Cleveland, women are forbidden from wearing patent leather shoes, lest men see reflections of their underwear.
* In Columbus, it is illegal for stores to sell cornflakes on Sunday.
* In Oxford, it is illegal for a women to disrobe in front of a man's picture.
* In Youngstown, it is illegal to run out of gas.
* Catch 22 is banned in Strongville.

Oklahoma

* People who make "ugly faces" at dogs may be fined and/or jailed.
* In Schulter, it is illegal for a woman to gamble in the nude, in lingerie, or while wearing a towel.

Oregon

* One may not bathe without wearing "suitable clothing," i.e., that which covers one's body from neck to knee.
* The town of Hood River prohibits the act of juggling without a license.
* Salem has barred women's wrestling.
* In Marion, ministers are forbidden from eating garlic or onions before delivering a sermon.

Pennsylvania

* "Any motorist who sights a team of horses coming toward him must pull well off the road, cover his car with a blanket or canvas that blends with the countryside, and let the horses pass. If the horses appear skittish, the motorist must take his car apart, piece by piece, and hide it under the nearest bushes".
* In Morrisville, women need a permit to wear cosmetics.
* Ministers are forbidden from performing marriages when either the bride or groom is drunk.

Rhode Island

* In Providence, it is illegal to sell toothpaste and a toothbrush to the same customer on a Sunday.
* It is illegal to throw pickle juice on a trolley.
* In Newport, it is illegal to smoke a pipe after sunset.

South Carolina

* Every citizen is obliged to carry his gun to church.
* No horses are allowed into Fountain Inn unless they are wearing pants.
* In Charleston, all carriage horses must wear diapers.

South Dakota

* It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory.
* Movies that show police officers being struck, beaten, or treated in an offensive manner are forbidden.

Tennessee

* It is illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish.
* In Dyersburg, it is illegal for a woman to call a man for a date.
* In Memphis restaurants, it is illegal to give any pie to fellow diners. It is also illegal to take unfinished pie home. All pie must be eaten on the premises.
* Also in Memphis, it is illegal for a woman to drive by herself; "a man must walk or run in front of the vehicle, waving a red flag in order to warn approaching pedestrians and motorists."

Texas

* The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.
* A recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.
* In El Paso, churches, hotels, halls of assembly, stores, markets, banking rooms, railroad depots, and saloons are required to provide spittoons "of a kind and number to efficiently contain expectorations into them."
* It is illegal to milk another person's cow.
* In Houston, it is illegal to sell Limburger cheese on Sunday.
* In LeFors, it is illegal to take more than three swallows of beer while standing.
* In San Antonio, it is illegal for both sexes to flirt or respond to flirtation using the eyes and/or hands.
* In Mesquite, it is illegal for children to have unusual haircuts.

Utah

* Birds have the right of way on all highways.
* A husband is responsible for every criminal act committed by his wife while she is in his presence.
* In Monroe, daylight must be visible between partners on a dance floor.

Vermont

* Women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth.
* It is illegal to deny the existence of God.
* It is illegal to whistle underwater.

Virginia

* In Richmond, it is illegal to flip a coin in any eating establishment to determine who buys a cup of coffee.
* In Norfolk, a man may face 60 days in jail for patting a woman's derriere.
* There is a state law prohibiting "corrupt practices of bribery by any person other than candidates."
* In Lebanon, it is illegal to kick your wife out of bed.

Washington

* In Seattle, women who sit on men's laps on buses or trains without placing a pillow between them face an automatic six-month jail term.
* In Auburn, men who deflower virgins, regardless of age or marital status, may face up to five years in jail.
* Seattle residents may not carry concealed weapons longer than six feet.
* It is illegal to pretend that one's parents are rich.

West Virginia

* In Nicholas County, no clergy members may tell jokes or humorous stories from the pulpit during church services.
* Doctors and dentists may not place a woman under anesthesia unless a third person is present.
* It is illegal to snooze on a train.

Wisconsin

* In St. Croix, women are not allowed to wear anything red in public.
* It is illegal to cut a woman's hair.
* It is illegal to kiss on a train.
* Cheese making requires a cheese maker's license; Limburger cheese making requires a master cheese maker's license.

Wyoming

* It is illegal to wear a hat that obstructs peoples' view in a public theater or place of amusement.
* It is illegal for women to stand within five feet of a bar while drinking.

Funtasticus Links

Posted: 28 Jan 2009 09:30 PM CST

hl1289

Daphne Joy is yummy (NS4W)

Gabrielle Anwar is Blowing Up (The Bachelor Guy)

Tyra Banks : Hot or Not? (Gunaxin)

PG Porn: Roadside Ass-sistance (Observation Bubble)

Save the Economy: Buy Drugs (Brahsome)

Sexiest Female on the Planet Group 6 (on205th)

Emily is a College Hottie (College Humor)

Ashley Tisdale Pumping Some Iron (The Beer Goggler)

The Most Important Conversation Ever… Lives On (Sharapova’s Thigh)

You’re doing it wrong (Afrojacks)

Odd Jobs: Swing Set Sales (9 to Fried)

Photo essay of Super Bowl Media Day Hotties (The World of Isaac)

Happy Birthday Ashley Gellar (MoonDog Sports)

Don’t Eat the Salmon at Outback Steakhouse! (the Jebbica)

Carl’s Jr. has a great idea for a new burger (Holy Taco)

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