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| Where Aircrafts Meet the Ground Posted: 02 Jan 2009 06:30 AM CST Beautiful pictures of airports & landing strips around the world seen from the sky. Masterfully shot.
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| Posted: 02 Jan 2009 06:20 AM CST Another ultimate guy fantasies, voluptuous french maids wearing lust-inducing skimpy uniform cleaning your room. Here are some typical examples.
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| Posted: 02 Jan 2009 06:10 AM CST “Everything is funny as long as it is happening to Somebody Else.” - Will Rogers  |
| Posted: 02 Jan 2009 06:00 AM CST After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, ‘Unbutton your shirt’. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, ‘That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me’ and she processed my Social Security application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, ‘You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too’. And then the fight started… ******************************************************************************** My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, ‘Do you know her?’ ‘Yes,’ I sighed, ‘She’s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.’ ‘My God!’ says my wife, ‘Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?’ And then the fight started… ******************************************************************************** I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn’t believe it…he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, ‘I AM NOT HAPPY!!!’ So, I looked down at him and said, ‘Well then, which one of the Seven Dwarfs are you?’ And then the fight started… ******************************************************************************** A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, ‘I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.’ The husband replies, ‘Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.’ And then…  |
| Posted: 02 Jan 2009 06:00 AM CST These are apparently real excuse notes written by parents for the teachers. Is it any wonder that our kids seem to be doing worse than the kids from Asia? * My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him. * Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot. * Dear School: Please excuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29,30, 31, 32, and also 33. * Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating. * Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip. * John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face. * Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part. * Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins. * Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side. * Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels. * Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre) (dyrea) (direathe) the runs. [words in () s were crossed out.] * Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor. * Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust. * Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father s fault. * I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don t know what size she wears. * Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday. * Sally won t be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral. * My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines. * Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well. * Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps. * Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn t the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night. * Please excuse little Jimmy for not being in school yesterday. His father is gone and I could not get him ready because I was in bed with the doctor.  |
| Posted: 02 Jan 2009 05:50 AM CST Ah, the 1st Friday of a brand new year… enjoy these random chicks to mark the new year.  |
| Posted: 02 Jan 2009 05:40 AM CST The cartoonists and artists are really having a field day with the subprime chaos going around. Can’t really blame them since this is probably one of the most exciting (and chaotic) times in the financial markets in recent years.  |
| Posted: 02 Jan 2009 05:30 AM CST FUNNY PEPSI COMMERCIAL - Pepsi produces some of the best commercials in my opinion. This is another good one. CHRISTMAS PRANK TURNED SOUR HELPFUL KICK - Guy struggles with loads of shopping bags until another guy comes along and lends a leg!  |
| Voluptuous Virgin - Adriana Lima Posted: 02 Jan 2009 05:20 AM CST Adriana Francesca Lima probably needs no introduction. She was born on 12 June 1981, a super super successful Brazilian model and best known as a Victoria’s Secret Angel. She won the Ford’s Supermodel of Brazil compeition at age 15, a testament of her potential that has since propelled her to one of the most famous and sought after model in the world. But above all these accolades, I guess I love her most for the fact that she is still a virgin! She told GQ magazine in Apr 2006 that she was a devote Catholic who attends church every Sunday and firmly believes that sex is for marriage only. WOW! This also led her to being named ‘The World’s Most Voluptuous Virgin’ by GQ. If this is true, there just might be hope for the world.
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| Posted: 02 Jan 2009 05:10 AM CST Honestly, I don’t know which is sadder, that someone actually thought of doing something like this or that some of you guys might actually be interested to see this. Oh well, whatever.
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