Posted: 25 Nov 2008 07:30 AM CST
Posted: 25 Nov 2008 07:20 AM CST
Posted: 25 Nov 2008 07:10 AM CST
Posted: 25 Nov 2008 07:00 AM CST
“What do I know about sex? I’m a married man.” –Tom Clancy
“I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.” –Steve Martin
“Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as meaningless experiences go, it’s pretty damned good.” –Woody Allen
“Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.” –Unknown
“My cousin is an agoraphobic homosexual, which makes it kind of hard for him to come out of the closet.” –Bill Kelly
“Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant.” –Henry Miller
“The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn’t mean that God doesn’t love heterosexuals. It’s just that they need more supervision.” –Lynn Lavner
“There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.” –P. J. O’Rourke
“As the French say, there are three sexes–men, women and clergymen.” –Rev. Sydney Smith
“Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.” –Woody Allen
“I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.” –George Burns
“It isn’t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.” –Matt Barry
“You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither.” –Drew Carey
“Life is a sexually transmitted disease.” –Unknown
“Remember, if you smoke after sex you’re doing it too fast.” –Woody Allen
“Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.” –George Burns
“If it weren’t for pickpockets, I’d have no sex life at all.” –Rodney Dangerfield
Posted: 25 Nov 2008 06:50 AM CST
Posted: 25 Nov 2008 06:40 AM CST
Posted: 25 Nov 2008 06:30 AM CST
PORN BUDDIES - You need one of these! Else, who is going to take care of your stash of porn if anything happens to you?
WHEN GUYS GLADLY HELP AROUND HOUSE - You know that there is probably something fishy. Nice ad!
Posted: 25 Nov 2008 06:20 AM CST
Posted: 25 Nov 2008 06:10 AM CST
Posted: 25 Nov 2008 06:00 AM CST
It was recently discovered by a group of scientists, a way of decoding Babies’ cries. Based on their research, most baby cries mean one of the following 16 things.
1. I have my blankie, you have your caffeine. Enough said.
2. Don’t be jealous, but I think I’m in love with the ceiling fan.
3. I know where the remote control is, but it’ll cost you..
4. To you, it’s just an empty egg carton; to me it’s PlayStation 2.
5.. Actually, I don’t mind sitting in a bathtub that I’ve peed in.
6. Bang a screwdriver slowly and steadily into your gums. That’s what teething feels like.
7. Two words I’d rather not hear from you: rectal thermometer.
8. There’s no point in teaching me to say “mama” or “dada.” My first word is going to be “hat.”
9. I’ve told you five times what cow says. If you can’t remember, I’m not telling you again.
10. There is no question that I can cry longer than you can listen.
11. I’m not just wildly throwing my food. I’m exploring the laws of gravity, estimating mass, and testing wind velocity.
12. If you wanted a good sleeper, you should have gotten a cat.
13. Who is that baby in the mirror you keep asking me about?
14. If my bottom is so darn cute, why is someone always trying to cover it up?
15. Who are you two to tell me how important it is to sleep alone?
16. What you secretly believe is true: I am much smarter than other babies.
|You are subscribed to email updates from Funtasticus.com Humor & Fun Blog |
To stop receiving these emails, you may unsubscribe now.
|Email Delivery powered by FeedBurner|
|Inbox too full? Subscribe to the feed version of Funtasticus.com Humor & Fun Blog in a feed reader.|
|If you prefer to unsubscribe via postal mail, write to: Funtasticus.com Humor & Fun Blog, c/o FeedBurner, 20 W Kinzie, 9th Floor, Chicago IL USA 60610|