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Posted: 13 Nov 2008 06:50 AM CST |
Posted: 13 Nov 2008 06:40 AM CST |
Posted: 13 Nov 2008 06:30 AM CST These records have not been officially verified. Read with a pinch of salt. MOST SEMEN SWALLOWED Michelle Monahan had 1.7 pints of semen pumped out of her stomach in Los Angeles in July 1991 (assuming U.S. pints, that’s roughly 0.8 L or almost a whole milk bag. Can you say gang bang? Can you say EEEWWW!!!). Gee, I wonder which cesspool of disease recently got named the AIDS poster child? That, and consider the possibility that she didn’t get “it” all down on the first “shot” and….oh, never mind). LONGEST PUBES Maoni Vi of Cape Town has hair measuring 32 inches from the armpits and 28 inches from her vagina (talk about flossing yer teeth when performing…well, I’m sure you can extrapolate from here). MOST CAVERNOUS CROTCH Linda Manning of Los Angeles could, without preparation, completely insert a lubricated American football into her vagina (this, for the uniformed, is what one calls a loose, sloppy **insert vulgar label for female genitalia here**). ZITS In July 1987, Carl Chadwick of Rugby, England, squeezed a zit and projected a detectable amount of yellow pus a distance of 7ft 1inch (only the English, only the English. Don’t even begin to think of what his back-nee, or butt-nee must have been like. Like, what did the guy do to get a zit this big? Smear pig grease all over his face for a month?). WORST DRINK The most horrible drink to be considered a beverage and safely drunk is Khoona. It is drunk by Afghani tribesmen on their wedding night and consists of a small amount of still-warm very recently attained bull semen. It is believed to be a potent aphrodisiac (safely drunk?!? Aphrodisiac?!? More like a Fear Factor dare if ya ask me). MOST OFFENSIVE COCKTAIL This is available from a few select bars in New York. It contains tomato juice, a double shot of vodka, a spoonful of French mustard and a dash of lime. It is not mixed, but served with a tampon (unused) instead of a cocktail umbrella and is known as a ‘C*nt Pump’ (I’ve, um, “heard” that it’s not bad. Oh, hush up ). GREATEST DISTANCE ATTAINED FOR A JET OF SEMEN Horst Schultz achieved 18 ft 9 in with a ’substantial’ amount of seminal fluid. He also hold the records for the greatest height (12 ft 4in) and the greatest speed of ejaculation, or muzzle velocity, with 42.7mph LONGEST TURD The longest dump ever verified was produced by an American who, produced a ’staggering turd’ over a period of 2 hr 12 mins which was officially measured at 12 ft 2in. The offender is banned from 134 washrooms in his state (any coincidence Taco Bell is headquartered there? Ever hear of a grain product called bran there, buddy? MOST PROLONGED FART Bernard Clemmens of London managed to sustain a fart for an officially recorded time of 2 mins 42 seconds (forget the WWI German gases or Saddam! FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE, WHATEVER YA DO DON’T LIGHT A MATCH!!! Can you imagine the blue angel off that one? Large enough to thaw friggin’ Siberia). |
Posted: 13 Nov 2008 06:30 AM CST |
Solarola - Speed, Balance and Strategy Posted: 13 Nov 2008 06:20 AM CST |
Posted: 13 Nov 2008 06:20 AM CST |
Posted: 13 Nov 2008 06:10 AM CST Amanda Harrington is one successful model. She is a professional model from liverpool born on 3 November 1980 in San Mateo, California, USA. At the mere age of 16, she captured the crown of Miss Liverpool and her fame and popularity has been climbing since. She went on to win the sexiest new model of Zoo Magazine and was in the top-20 list of Maxim’s hottest girls. Of course, what model’s resume is complete without an appearance in Playboy? She also had the privilege of staying in the Playboy Mansion and apparently had the best time of her life there. So enjoy what almost all the rest of the world appreciates in this hot hot hot model.
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Posted: 13 Nov 2008 06:10 AM CST DAY DREAMING IN CLASS - Hilarious video of what goes through the mind of a guy day-dreaming in class. From catching a glimpse of the busty babe behind him to letting off a silent fart, you know it’s true! CAR MADE OF CAKE - Wonder if this cake, the size and replica of a car, was actually eaten after this commercial. Just think about the starving children in Africa. BIG CHICK CRASHES OFF TABLE - And that’s the way the cookie crumbles! |
What’s So Exciting About a Period? Posted: 13 Nov 2008 06:00 AM CST The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time. She was reluctant to call upon little Johnnie, knowing that he sometimes could be a bit crude. But eventually his turn came. Little Johnnie walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down. Well the teacher couldn’t figure out what Johnnie had in mind for his report, so she asked him just what that was. “It’s a period,” reported Johnnie. “Well I can see that,” she said, “But what is so exciting about a period.” “Damned if I know,” said Johnnie, “But this morning my sister said she missed one. Then Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted and the man next door shot himself.” |
Posted: 13 Nov 2008 06:00 AM CST |
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