New FDA Alcohol Warnings Posted: 27 Apr 2009 04:30 AM PDT - Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
- Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a loser.
- Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again.
- Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.
- Consumption of alcohol may convince you that your ex is really dying to hear from you at 4 am.
- Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and/or name you can’t remember).
- Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.
- Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that you’re tougher than a really big guy named Kong.
- Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.
- Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
- Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small… or large gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.
- Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.
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