Funtasticus.com

Daily Funny Pictures Posted: 29 Jul 2008 07:17 AM CDT How are you feeling this Tuesday? Gotten over the the trauma of yesterday’s Monday blues? And I don’t know why this wheel-clamped Porsche is funny, perhaps some jealous part of me smiles at this…

Cuban-American Beauty Natalie Martinez Posted: 29 Jul 2008 07:16 AM CDT Natalie, born on 21 Aug 1984 in Miami Florida, is a Cuban-American model and actress. Do you know she actually beat 5000 other models and gorgeous girls to become the spokesmodel for Jennifer Lopez’s line of clothing, J.Lo.? Pretty impressive.

Most Expensive Home Entertainment System in the World Posted: 29 Jul 2008 07:16 AM CDT US$6 Million. That is how much it would cost you to get this sweet looking set. And it all belongs to a Jeremy Kipnis, a music producer and engineer. Man, one would need to get a mansion first before getting this set, in which case, $6M is probably a paltry sum to you. Among many other gizmos, you will be getting 30 amplifiers, 16 subwoofers, 10 tweeters and 8 tower speakers. Check out his mind-blowing literal home theater setup.

Step-Up Meets CSI in Melyssa Ford Posted: 29 Jul 2008 07:15 AM CDT If you’ve seen her, it’s probably on a hip hop video as she has been in LOTS of them. She was born 7 Nov 1976 (not too young anymore) in Toronto, Ontario and besides being a model, is an actress and a radio personality. Don’t mess with this gal, she also has got lots packing up there, and by that I mean the head, graduating from York University with a degree in, get this, forensic psychology! I can almost imagine her in a CSI lab coat!

Risky Whisky Posted: 29 Jul 2008 07:14 AM CDT Deliver your precious crates of whisky fast and carefully!

New Office Policy Posted: 29 Jul 2008 07:14 AM CDT Dress Code: 1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary. 2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. 3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. 4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise. Sick Days: We will no longer accept a doctor’s statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work. Personal Days: Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays. Bereavement Leave: This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early. Bathroom Breaks: Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the ‘Chronic Offenders’ category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company’s mental health policy. Lunch Break: * Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. * Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. * Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that’s all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast. Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

Parking Violations - Avoid or Get Even Posted: 29 Jul 2008 07:13 AM CDT 2 funny videos on parking violations. The first is how to avoid them and if this fails, the next is how to get even!

Sofia Georgiou Posted: 29 Jul 2008 07:13 AM CDT She was one of the delegates in Miss World 1999 representing Cyprus and is now the cover girl of the Greece version of Esquire Magazine.

H20 Reality Posted: 29 Jul 2008 07:12 AM CDT Interesting array of artistic snapshots involving various people and water.

Fulfill Her Secret Fanatasies Posted: 29 Jul 2008 07:12 AM CDT Thought we will add something new to our usual great content. Here is a great article by Men’s Health Magazine that we found really interesting. Thus apart from fun pics, videos, games, jokes, we hope to add fun articles to this list so you learn good stuff too when you visit us. Let us know what you think! Most women aren’t very good at asking for what they want, especially in the beginning of a relationship. And by “beginning,” I mean anywhere from the first night to the first 2 years. For one thing, we’re hopelessly romantic. We imagine that the right guy will instinctively grant us every sexual favor we’ve ever fantasized about, without our having to say anything. Ridiculous, sure, but a girl can dream. Also—trust me here—we dread being perceived as high maintenance. We see how put out you guys are by the idea of phoning us once a day or escorting us to a cousin’s wedding. So asking for 45 uninterrupted minutes of cunnilingus seems outrageous. The good news is that we are fantasizing about sex. (Wow—you, too?) And we will get around to requesting our favors just as soon as we feel comfortable and confident enough. If your partner isn’t there yet, let me give you an idea of what those favors might be—maybe you can coax them out of her. Speaking on behalf of my gender, I wish you’d . . . 1. Shower before bed. Seeing you emerge from a steamy bathroom with droplets of water clinging to your biceps makes me want to dry you off with my tongue. That includes all those soft, warm, sensitive places—but only when they’re Zestfully clean. 2. Talk dirtier. Much dirtier. Trot out a variety of nasty words one night, and if I grunt and moan in agreement, kick it up a notch. When I respond with total silence, dial it back down. 3. Mow the lawn in jeans and no shirt so I can play desperate housewife from the window. Then come inside smelling of fresh-cut grass, sweat, and pheromones, and make love to me on the dining-room table. 4. Ask me to perform yoga poses naked. I’ve been preparing for it every week while bent over and staring through my legs at the mirror on the yoga-studio wall. This is not a performance I’ll volunteer for. I need a little encouragement, goading even, but I will give in. And you’ll especially like the views when I’m in camel pose and standing bow. 5. Slide your hand up my skirt when you’re following me upstairs. 6. Confess your latest sexual fantasy. But say that you did this with/to me in a dream. That’ll allow me to maintain the illusion that it isn’t something you used to do with an ex-hookup, or an idea you picked up from porn. I might not agree to reenact it, but hearing about it will make me feel like your naughty little confidante, which is very hot. Bonus: It’ll give me the courage to tell you mine. 7. Read up on sex. There are books on boinking that are worth the embarrassment of buying them. Like Ian Kerner’s She Comes First, for example. It’s a guide to giving oral sex so well that your partner will insist on cooking you blueberry pancakes the next morning. Yes, you’re an amazing lover already, but Kerner has a Ph.D. for a reason. 8. Ambush me in the shower and direct a strong stream of warm water precisely at my clitoris. Adjust your aim even as I giggle and squirm around the tub. I’ve done this by myself, plenty of times, but having you do it to me is way sexier and a hundred times more fun. 9. Make your move the second we walk in the door. Or while we’re still in the hallway. I don’t know what, if anything, happened between Benicio Del Toro and Scarlett Johansson in that elevator, but if Del Toro acted as if having sex with her right then and there was the only reason he was put on this planet, I could understand if she obliged. When a guy lusts after me so urgently that he can’t even wait the 90 seconds it takes to get to the bed, it makes me feel like a movie star. 10. Ask to take black-and-white photos of me naked. I want you to, but I’m not so cocky as to suggest that my body could be a work of art. That’s why I need you to do it for me. Bring it up after we’ve had sex. Tell me that the curve of my hips needs to be immortalized. Then, one rainy Saturday night, produce a bottle of wine and a camera. 11. Treat sex like a buffet. Take breaks during intercourse to go back for appetizers. Too often, making out, manual stimulation, and breast caressing get cast aside when the more serious stuff starts. But without generous amounts of all three from start to finish, the female orgasm is infinitely harder to achieve. 12. Sit back on your heels from the missionary position and caress my legs slowly, from ankle to thigh. When you take the time to stroke my body thoughtfully during sex, it lets me know that you’re savoring the experience as something meaningful to you. 13. Buy more of those snug, gray boxers with the buttons on the crotch. I want to work them open with my teeth. 14. Kiss me in front of your friends or coworkers and slip me the tiniest bit of tongue. They’ll think we have a smokin’ sex life. Other women will wish they had a guy like you. That will make me feel very lucky, and very horny. 15. Get me drunk on champagne, prop me up on the hood of your car, and eat me like an apple. 16. Reward me for folding your T-shirts and cleaning the drain by making one long night of sex all about me. Light a candle. Rub massage oil on my body, back and front, shoulders to toes. Next, bring me close to orgasm using just your hands. Then your tongue. Then pull me on top so I can orchestrate the finale myself. 17. Watch me shave my legs. Offer to help me shave other places. 18. Maneuver me into 69 at least once a month. Sometimes with me on top, sometimes you. Sometimes on our sides. And, at least once in our lives—when you’ve been lifting and I’m at my lightest weight—standing up with my thighs on top of your shoulders.

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